Yesterday was really tough. I felt defeated through every hour… both on an emotional and physical level. Most days it is simple for me to rejoice in the fullness of my womb… but yesterday, I was weary at the thought of having (atleast) five more weeks of these aches + pains. The back pain I am experiencing feels just as intense as the actual back labor I had with Elijah… *sigh*. It’s so tough, really. And then, there’s this:: my reluctance to spend time with my Creator in light of committed sin. Oh… I am so prone to run from Him when I falter; so prone to tell myself I must improve before I come again before Him… and yet, I know I need not be. But yesterday my mind was in a sorrowful lockdown… believing lie after lie. It is falsely thought that believers in Christ are unwary, credulous, and delusional. For often it is in fact not simple to believe the truths He holds for us. Truths as:: our worth is not found in our performance / our wrongdoing has no hold over us / our righteousness before God has been imputed to us through Christ, and therefore we cannot lose it / salvation is a free gift / He is sovereign over all things / He is good in every circumstance. So… this morning I am pleading with my Creator to help me trust that He hears these cries from woeful me. With a weary whisper through a tightened throat, I ask Him and He helps me trust… I need not tarry to return until I’m “better”… the process of sanctification belongs to Him alone.
(via missysuehanson)
40
